Wednesday, February 25, 2009



Download "Let's Do This", Which is a Mixtape

songs!
Bishop Allen - The Ancient Commensense of Things
Kelis feat. Nas - Blindfold Me
Duran Duran - The Chauffeur
Flight of the Conchords - Carol Brown
Freur - Doot Doot
Shortwave Set - Glitches n' Bugs
K'naan - ABC's
Music Go Music - Thousand Crazy Nights
That Handsome Devil - Viva Discordia
(Lindstrøm) - Why
Blitzen Trapper - God & Suicide
Beastie Boys - Shadrach
Public Image Ltd. - Seattle
Suburban Kids With Biblical Names - 1999
Frankmusik - 3 Little Words
Kaka - What A Frame
Ruined by Martin - Untouchable
Alela Diane - White As Diamonds
Michael Jackson - Leave Me Alone

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

I'm not following the story arc here

Here's something inspired by a combination of nostalgia week (I am dubbing this, henceforth) and last week's Family Guy:



Guys, this used to be my very favorite movie, when I was eleven or twelve. Watching this video is basically the same thing as watching the film, there are enough clips in it to where you get all the major plot points. Let's discuss our favorite parts of the video: mine is Kevin Costner smashing through the paper stained glass window. What's yours?

Monday, February 16, 2009

There's nothing quite like waking up still emotionally attached to whatever dream, or series of dreams, that just occurred. Mine were all wistful, equating to "somewhat pleasantly nostalgic", and I woke up missing childhood events that never actually happened. (I mean, yes these were my friends but we never starred together in a "Small Wonder"-esque sitcom in the mid 80's.) The tone was already set for the day, all I could think about was where are they now. All those friends I had when I was a kid and a teenager, the ones that I haven't "reconnected" with in one form or another. Which is, to say, 99% of them. So I spent an hour typing names into the facebook search field.

Oh, and p.s. that never turns out the way you want.

Between that and the unlikely Vegas storm that's causing equal amounts of flooding in my brain, today was pretty much useless. I saw Coraline 3D, it would have been better had the theater not been packed, and then everyone who arrived a half hour (!) late for the movie commented on this, loudly and whilst stomping up and down the aisles trying to find seats. My favorite thing is to complain about there being too many children in a children's movie, and at a matinee no less. I spent another hour eating a veggie fatburger (dude, so good) and even another hour jogging on a treadmill, watching Butch Cassidy on TCM while providing my own Chamillionaire-heavy soundtrack via ipod. Fitness!


I think the real question is why wasn't I starring in a sitcom. I mean, look at that FACE. I know I'm buyin' ad time.

Tuesday, February 03, 2009

I'm pretty hungry, and I think my snack drawer got raided by the snackstapo.

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

BEHOLD: MY ART SKILLS

Friday, January 23, 2009

Epic Text-Message Conversations

"What are those old-school ringtones called? The type of music?"
"I know what you're talking about but I don't remember."
"Yeah, it's pissing me off, mang."

(two hours later)

"I'm still thinking about this."
"Wasn't it on your old phone? It's like mono or disyllabic and sounds 80s. I'm seeing the letter 'm'."
"Yes, and I used to write cell phone ads. Annoying!"
"Midi?"
"That's it!"
"This is the dumbest conversation we've ever had."

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

For all your partying, irony, or ironic partying needs, I present:



Jock Jamz Mix Party '09 (this is the link to download)

1. 2 Unlimited - Get Ready For This
2. Boyz II Men - Motownphilly
3. Technotronic - Pump Up The Jam
4. London Beat - I've Been Thinking About You
5. Snap! - The Power
6. Lo-Fidelity Allstars - Battle Flag
7. K7- Come Baby Come
8. C+C Music Factory - Things That Make You Go Hmm...
9. Reel 2 Reel - I Like To Move It
10. Jock Jams* - Cotton Eyed Joe
11. Basshunter - Please Don't Go (Wideboys Edit)
12. KLF - 3am Eternal
13. Bel Biv Devoe - Poison
14. Real McCoy - Another Night
15. Z Onyx - Slam (Ultimix)
16. Crystal Waters - Gypsy Woman (She's Homeless)
17. Juliet Waters - I Want You
18. Quad City DJs- Space Jam



*I have no idea who the fuck sings Cotton Eyed Joe, this mp3 reads "Jock Jams" in the artist column.

A Sampling of Facebook Status Updates From This Morning, Which Was a Few Hours Ago

"would love to see Michelle punk the Bushes from behind with the Lincoln Bible."

"man, that crowd loves it some feinstein."

"wishes this flash player update would hurry the f up."

"that giant easter basket sounded just like aretha franklin."

"bought that same (Aretha) hat at Marshalls last night."

"I am sO bored WHO ORDERED THE FUCKING SPA AND SALON CHILLOUT SHIT."

"This is so... Presidential."

"Poetry? Time for a smoke."

p.s. I am listening to "Return to Innocence", it is kind of like a jock jam.

Friday, January 16, 2009

I had never heard that name Sully before and then I heard it five times, yesterday.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

God, this needs a design overhaul. I say that every six months or so, change it up and then it looks even worse than before. So maybe this time I won't touch it. I'll just whine about it. Because that's how life works best.

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Well, now I remember why I don't drink Sparks. Holy hell, this headache is awful. I'm ready to drive to headquarters and stop production on this product myself. In other news, I am staring at a computer screen, which certainly isn't helping.

Saturday, January 10, 2009

I remember back when I used to update this thing daily, that was back before blogger got bought out and required you to submit an unrelated email as you username, back when I had IDEAS and didn't spend half of Saturday accidently watching Dances With Wolves and solely communicating via text messages. I was going to leave the house tonight but everything is AVN-related, which last year meant porn clowns and the year before meant breaking a bottle of vanilla vodka on the concrete at eight o'clock in the morning. This year will remain decidedly more chill, or sanitary I guess too. I hate this city with the passion of a thousand unyielding tire fires.
This morning I woke up early and went to kickboxing, tomorrow I wake up early to help (or hinder, depending on how heavy the lifting is) a friend with a yard sale. That's the weekend. That's all there is to it. I keep waking up with short stories in my head. They get dumber as the day goes on, without fail. I'm glad I haven't been writing them down.
I'm jealous of diarists who can keep this up on the daily, on the twice and three times daily. I'm going to get a better camera. I'm going to lose another ten pounds. I'm going to update, dammit, whether you like it or not.

Tuesday, January 06, 2009


Christmas


From down here...


this fish was lookin' at me all funny.












one of my friends at work gave me this banana slicer, because i like the word "banana".


Sunday, January 04, 2009

My only resolution is for 2009 to be as much like this as humanly possible:



goals!

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

By request, what it looks like outside my apartment window when it snows:



I would have gone outside, but I don't actually own anything that's snowproof or would keep me from falling on the ice.

Monday, December 15, 2008

"Frosty the Snow Man" is a really depressing story / song. I don't know if you guys have been paying attention, but dude gets hit by a car at the end of it. Or melts. It's a little unclear. Either way, he becomes the victim of the same global warming that's causing it to snow in Las Vegas today.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Here is a favor that you can do for yourselves. Go to flickr, and search the tabs for "dachshund" and "christmas". It will open up a world of cute.


Hi, Chester.

Monday, December 01, 2008

Happy Monday after Thanksgiving! Here's what I watched, a hundred times, which was all week:



Creepy!

Thursday, November 06, 2008

Here's what I was talking about, a few posts ago:



Champion of the sun!

I've been writing some wedding copy.

And have discovered "cherish" to be one of my least favorite words.