n'est pas

Well, if everyone else is going to review the R.E.M. show...

For a review from CNN's employee of the month, and someone who knows R.E.M. way better than you, see the V+ blog.

For a song-by-song breakdown and shirt-by-shirt clothing removal analysis, see the Hindsight blog.

However, if you'd like lessons on how to dance like Stipe, you've come to the right place!

First of all you'll need music. And you have to understand the lyrics to dance to the song. We suggest something simple for beginners, maybe "Losing My Religion," or "Man on the Moon." Do not, I repeat DO NOT attempt these steps to New Adventures in Hi-Fi. We've had several people end up in the hospital as a result of attempting to discern "E-Bow the Letter."

First, raise you're right arm in the air. Now the left. Now yell something. It doesn't matter what. "Cool" or "Fire" will do this fine. Louder, now, they have to be able to hear you in the back. Rub your stomach until it gets creepy. Now jump. Higher!

Ok, now that you've mastered jumping, it's time to move on to running across the stage. Pretend you have no bones in your legs. Now run! to stage left. Stop. Stare for a second. Like we practiced, arm in the air. Now stage right. Repeat, as needed.

If you should get hot at any time, feel free to remove one of your eight shirts.

Before we continue, stop and think of some catchphrases that you'll want to repeat when doing this particular dance. Some suggestions are "My name is ___ and this is what I do." or "There is no yesterday. There is no tomorrow. There is only right now at (your nephew's bar mitsvah/club eleven50/the basement)" or wherever you are. DO NOT CHANGE THESE CATCHPHRASES. You'll only confuse people. Oh, and now would be a good time to look up the word "flail"

Now we have come to the "flailing" portion of our lessons. Both arms in the air again. Now flail. Flail! Get those feet going. Who cares what you look like! Choreography is for people without decent songs!

Before you know it you'll be breaking it down to "Imitation of Life."
__________________

The show was thouroghly enjoyable, by the way. Not as good as Birmingham, and a bit Hi-Fi heavy, but still good.

Oh, and remind me never to go to another Interpol show. It was like the album come to life. No variation whatsoever.

Signing off,
Dehumidifier
Assistant Instructor
Miss Parson's School of Dance