Thursday, March 31, 2005


It must be aprilfoolsday because they told me I could get unemployment until four thirty and I went at four and they said no they meant three thirty hahaha and then I tried to call and get health insurance and they said to wait and someone would call me maybe by the end of the week but maybe on Monday and I thought maybe I need it right now do you see the way people are dropping today? Maybe I will go home and hide in bed that way nothing can fall on me (don't) and there is nothing for me to fall into and I am very tired anyways because my sleep was interrupted by thunder and The Arcade Fire and GNR and Herbie Hancock very loudly on repeat at 6am and I dunno if that is a good replacement for the internet because for the love of god it's 6am.
Toco Hills is one of the best places in Atlanta because where else can you get unemployment, the best thai food in atlanta, the new beck album and thousands of dance studios all under one clearly-designed-in-the-early-80's mini mall!

(oh and the new beck album is so much better than the downloaded version and also it comes in a book with a dvd yes i am in love and have been since freshman year of high school, loser baby)

oh man the news just said the pope has a high fever!

Monday, March 28, 2005

Instead of pasting more spam-literature (spamitature?) in this particular entry, I will list what appeared to be a selection of prescription drugs available to order on what I am sure is the best pharmacy site ever:

Sunday, March 27, 2005

This easter I have decided to honor one of christianity's unsung heroes- someone who too often gets left out of easter baskets and brunches alike. And even though most of us are too busy scarfing down peeps and hiding/disposing the eggs/evidence to make the pilgramidge down to the movieplex 16 for the traditional Viewing Of The Cut Of The Director Of The Passion Of The Christ, here's hoping each and every one of us keeps a little Mel Gibson in our-
fuck it, here are some easter pics I made based on the aforementioned theme:

happy easter!

egg decorating ideas:

and this:

similes, smilies, simians, similar (italicized, yep)

It is Saturday night, I am spending Saturday night with an internet, must be the storm that already sent one of my lighters to a watery grave. Must be.
Last night I was the type of girl who would pee in front of a boy but not go home with one cause: basically let's face it going home with a boy does little to expedite the bathroom line. Oh man I just remembered there was a bottle of crisco oil in the bathroom totally without context not even the faint smell of fried shampoo and also that I was trying to remember what it was called when you see some stripes from far away and the stripes start to fuck with your eyes like sun on midday pavement. And also something with rami about not gurus but what? My night= a series of unanswered questions.
I drove some people home two of whom were named erin and on the way to my car I said "help I am being followed by a gang of erins" and I thought it was hilarious but no one else did, this is probably why I do not go home with boys it's all becoming so clear like hindsight on a windex kick. And then brian played traffic director to my thirty six point turn.
Oh, and pics.

(It's really fucking funny when scene kid 1 is wearing white with black stripes and scene kid 2 is wearing black with white stripes and then they stand next to each other and then you find yourself referencing "the english patient". Because who references that it would be like pointing out that the theme song from "bosom buddies" sounds familiar in a way that has absolutely nothing to do with tom hanks.)

Friday, March 25, 2005

Oh, and to accompany the pics:

"What Is Happ-""Where is The Check?"

(money shots)

Thursday, March 24, 2005

Do not request Eddie Murphy or Jesus Jones. They will not get played. At which time your hopes of partying all the time will be dashed.


Tuesday, March 22, 2005

I have two phone interviews sort of at agencies in the midwest. Um, yeah. The midwest, that giant expanse of land I have only ever read about in books. I guess I will actually get to see whether or not it actually exists.

Here is more spam nonsense- I promise to eventually stop posting this stuff but this one starts and ends with sandwich references to I felt it was calling out to me or maybe I just want a sandwich:

Profession sandwich bought benefit off few friends use goes disappoint parents slow love how immediate explain she hard allow being, window somewhere pride here benefit, wanted money the profession promised parents development my did, away went Alice like the wind, and was just in time to hear it my mother: she kissed me, patted me gently on the shoulder, and sat to see how you would come out of the trial, Trot;
The girl we had followed strayed down to the give you an advice to conclude your education, which you will have need fell from old Tiffeys daily biscuit, regularly eaten when St. Dont know where you were born?- Who was your father?
Seriously apprehending that the wash-stand was Pie-crust and reversible, the chest of drawers an venerable pile, for which the spot to which I refer has acquired a But Wendy had not been dreaming, as the very next night showed, Stewart nodded his head like a mechanical figure; and no sooner had my coach was clear of passengers by that time, the luggage was very ages ago, by the same faces, objects, and circumstances - of our asleep by the side of Long Tom. He had one of his dreams that night.
I now approach an event in my life, so indelible, so awful, so Habitually living with the elements and knowing little more of the For Gods sake. I cried, for Gods sake, what is this that I have before the days work was over, I am really afraid to recollect, Please to read that, maam. Thats my nieces hand. And what will you be thinking of myself. she cried, some of the best food we have eaten on the island we shall be returning by boat in august.
Heeee okie lah nothing much keeep in contract lohhhh takke careeeee do keep mi updateee okieeeeee. in the indian ocean which was hit by the quake today the indo-australian plate is being subducted beneath the eurasian plate at its east margin.
I have a crazy jumpy biology teacher i have a batty russian teacher i have much fun i have much pain at the same time i have counselors that don t know how to make schedules.nbsp nbsp nbsp gii is the best company i ever have worked with in a couple of months i nbsp became selfemployeed and my income grow day-for-day thanks eric. hi jim got your mail and will be attending the get together in blenheim lost souls bob dowling is in brisbane working. i love this website it has everything that you could want on him go ive like i said keep you head in the game you got mad game yall are doing a good job on updating it everytime they have a game. last night when i was online i got a private message from her were she openly came out about who she was and why she was so obsessed with me and we did actually talk through private messages. comment i had problems with the page that showed photos of many indoor plants including ficus benjamina. personally i m trying to remove the word hoe from my vernacular and replace it with quot future business partner quot here s to wishful thinking. none of which can possibly excuse four out of five students being incompetent in math and science.
And for other matters I very willingly leave you to your own runaway boy, all dusty and way-worn, perhaps I thought so. From from the pulpit of her own bitter youth, to mutual concession, and fellow-creature thus abruptly deprived of its closest companion, Peter I never shall forget the waking, next morning; the being cheerful, reading thus bought embarrass allow is sandwich slow.

Monday, March 21, 2005

save my occasional foray into the bed and breakfast industry- breakfast will consist of cigarettes and an all-you-can-eat-from-my-collection-of-expired-condiments-buffet. It will be served promptly at 4pm.

this is a rather depressing industry my apartment is such a whore.

I just compared ed harris to a pringle. In an i-chat conversation I just did that.
The amazing part is this: this is not the first time tonight ed harris has weaseled his way into unrelated conversation. It's the second.

*I have officially fufilled my ed harris mention quota for the year ever. Which was twice, can you believe it??!!!*

I am going to lay in my bed and cry about 2005 and maybe this time I will actually attatch the clean sheets to my mattress, but I will probably fall asleep before I see the point being the only one who ever sees them-

Sunday, March 20, 2005

I am waiting it out until 6:30. Would you like to know why? Ok, here it go:
My friend and one of the swedish dudes from that band "soundtrack of our lives" are most likely fucking in my apartment. There is a .1% chance that they found the box containing the game "balderdash" in my closet and are currently exchanging intentional malapropisms, but what are the odds:
a) 48%
b) .1%
c) what are the odds of YOUR ASS
d) all of the above
e) none of the above
f) A and C
g) A and B
h) you've got to be kidding me, no multiple choice test goes all the way to "h".
i) this is AP Livejournal, bitch.
j) just for that you're getting an essay portion.
k) lmnop

Board game or otherwise, on the following provided* pages please explain how I always end up being the sober-est groupie, how exactly I should (upon returning to my apt) approach the aforementioned situation, and where exactly my life took a turn for the unremarkably surreal. Please reference at least two of the following works of literature in a manner which seems to support your theory, but in all actuality does little by way of supporting your essay or justifying humanity's existance:
Ethan Frome
Ethan Frome and the Prisoner of Riddick
Frome vs. Hawk: The Battle for Total Ethan Domination
The Complete Reader's Guide to Why Ethan Frome Sucks So Completely

*provided by you, the viewer. oh and show all notes.


Saturday, March 19, 2005

Friday was not at all as bad as I thought it would be, as I thought half-sleeping some alcohol off, I thought I would be thirsty and hungover and the headache would last all day like it has good god. But the sun was agreeable this time and even driving to lagrange was not all that bad. Of course eventually my mother started an argument she refused to take credit for, but that's bound to happen and I said I was gonna drive my car into a ditch but I guess nobody was listening.
I didn't actually drive my car into a ditch but I did wash it today. It once again looks like an egg, and the best thing about my car is that it looks like an egg.

Here is a picture I found on my mother's computer. The only explanation I have is that she teaches preschool, you take it from there:

Thursday, March 17, 2005

Ok, so I'm not going to SXSW. Because well let's face it, it's 2005. And 2005 is not the year of Jill.

Oh, and also cause the driver's car needs a new timing belt and you know what they say about Austin and timing belts: "you need one to get there".

Here's more semi-literature from my junk mail- this time our protagonist has a run-in with the master of magicians david copperfield!

To your last day youll ken no more of women-folk than what I do of next day but one; and I drove to Lincolns Inn Fields, where I Why, what a sight for such bright eyes at midnight. I replied. Na, said he; it will be made by a bogle and her wanting ta heid upon there was never a sign of them. But I was no sooner shown into the I well remember though, how the distant idea of the holidays, after discharge it. And when the time comes - may it come soon, if it be Nana, good dog, he said, patting her, I have put a little milk This does you credit, Twenty Eight, returned the questioner. I gay silk handkerchief thrown loose about the neck danced upon the thief among the swinging hammocks during a night-watch, or the man Very probably. and what effect could be anticipated from such without any imputation on the Reverend Horace, I do think parents, rampagious boys of hers gave her so much to do. Really there were confidence. Im sure I gave you every opportunity. But you never Digging for apples, indeed. said the Rabbit angrily. Here.under her arm, that it might not escape again, and went back for surpassing the present one. In the morning he was downhearted waiter of more authority - a stout, potential old man, with a Twice was this manoeuvre repeated; and the third time when I brought his hands, I saw. Had I left the room a minute, when his man told Through all this raillery there was something indulgent in the ladys O yes, Mr. David, said she, that is what I think of you. The head I asked, as the shortest way to get at it, what he WAS doing. he said, theres shame steps in, and keeps betwixt us. added them up, and reduced the answer to shillings and pence. the charge of the wine-cellar, which he constructed, being an aquatic, are differentiae of animal; the species of knowledge yourself; and begged with weeping for the lives of both of you neither Master Copperfield, said Mrs. Micawber, God bless you. I never obliged to exert myself now, I got up at five oclock. Whether under the ground, when several of them stuck in the hollow trees and say, certainly did behave extremely honourable; for he proposed this sally, which as I was acquainted with the verses he referred to her. Nobody coddles me. Oh dear no. I am only the breadwinner, why presidents, poets, generals, artists, actors, and philanthropists, all parish engine, and perjury on the part of the Beadle. was agoes wanted edge fascinate nothing commit wrong sugar yours carefully. bought she my sugar! very gym principle similar evening news being prison few rich? immediate happened again the friends find back mentioned steps?

danced upon the thief among the swinging hammocks during a night watch? very probably.

Wednesday, March 16, 2005

Today I let random text found at the end of e-mail spam (as randomly selected from my junk mail) do the updating.
I have no idea what the hell this stuff is, but is sure does explain...nothing.

As it is, one must turn to some authority not liable hostlers, out of the way. Still, nobody appeared, to claim the gracious to Peggotty, except when I inadvertently called her by way back, and barking hoarsely all the while, till at last it sat, Liza was in a bad temper, for she was mixing the Christmas mistake but it looked bare and cold, and the most unsuitable, beggarly again in the old country. Do not frown, Micawber. I do not now He leaped as he spoke, and simultaneously came the gay voice of to her mother and went where the Old Soldier would. that he could not see beyond it, nor could the one knocking see him. It must have been that, said the King, unless it was at the comic parts, and to be overcome with fear when there was any inconsiderate young people, fairly and full grown, to see any Well, perhaps not, said Alice in a soothing tone: dont be she was out of her own chamber because its aspect was unsuited to your private hearing; then you shall be turned abroad again under the unconfirmed tone of the fleet at the time, should a man-of-wars-mans flung the window open, and my flower into the court, and then between there was or was not any practical merit in the suggestion I had seen in her brothers Latin Grammar, A mouse-of a mouse-to a

douglas lee animadvert aurochs oaf advice canker dilogarithm mercurial. archbishop elliott immigrant dialysis radices proust unary. sinusoidal dignify daughter connote indefinite lecture likewise took. solar boar chargeable blythe baggage lysergic alphanumeric.

They never had been opened; and we had no oyster-knives - and we have proof that they secretly watched the interlopers, and were not You will remember about changing your flannels, Peter? she said, much so neither; for if I had no right to appear at all in the are some people David knows, going out to Australia shortly. If guidance he crawled on his knees along the deck as far from the desk, unsoiled by ink, and reported to be twenty years of age. possible to heat in a greater or less degree; also to be heated in a speaking as slowly and distinctly as possible, and- then- you- can- particularly wants you to know - BARKIS IS WILLING.

burgess cloakroom asiatic harmon baggage lubbock marrow jaguar. centrifuge drawl awake spheroidal baggage psychopathic cavalry antoine. dormitory apostolic enigmatic daughter alumnae cardboard harpy heal nasty. deliquescent durham operand tyrannicide fed antarctic motivate crevice. philosophy fed formatted bateau bremsstrahlung attenuate conclude. casteth courtyard upbring sectarian radices across anniversary acetone ascension.

Although we appeared at the stipulated place a quarter of an hour word, she said, and I must be a good lad. It was impossible to burst about the Commons, to practise under cover of my name if I would night, and how she had withheld her fathers man from following of you, belonged to no one in particular until the Darlings engaged her. She other peoples. It seems but yesterday to me, John, when you were with mental, my good friend, except for a solid reason. sent up for good, or watching the wall-game from a famous wall. And

stilt broccoli contravene fed athenian suture durkin. molybdenum spec cellular starboard ambivalent quickstep manna. tamarind deferred atlantica fed nazism strontium ambling. corinth fed aureomycin posse whitehorse wyoming. bismark rosa constant fed delicious dinah. inception ambivalent balfour gaffe universe. lura aurochs convert servicemen terrace. anthem aurochs millennia present constitution. rickettsia apr aruba baggage animadversion cheerful declamation emissary. confluent fast

pleased, I suppose, with the transition. He took the table in his all that sort of thing, speaking generally. There are some low
dear. If any unavoidable change has come, in the sequence of time, distinct. Those contraries which are such that the subjects in which Alice indignantly, and she sat down in a large arm-chair at one I know it, Davie, I am loving you for the pain of it; it was done I doent know,he said, thoughtfully; I was calling to mind that rushed upstairs, but Mrs. Darling signed to him to go softly. She even prisoners dinner was in course of being set out separately to be still of the same clan. They are all the sons of Alpin, from whom, I Barbecue, Flint- what house? came the cutting retort. within myself, when I should see the old places again, and what new
lying, still, on the flushed water, with all the life on board her all his secrets - a worthy little plain man, all fat and snuff and with a pocket nutmeg-grater, is just the same, and when I see my and a bank-porter at my tail. And remember I have had the hospitality

daughter mirth casual. contempt charm aurochs morpheme rubbery admitted. stephanie baldpate inspector fed demean dobbs novelty. nah apostolic conscience consignee citywide bitterroot. auxiliary ballroom charitable concoct catharsis. boom ajax crafty backboard academe. cousin bodybuild barnyard aside assonant. accrue concert coalition. alizarin co character. bottommost blush commission brigantine adolescent. cheesy berg broth chin. aspire buckthorn conferring crud contort. assailant alibi ahead. confessor allan afterimage arachnid billie. america bribe alluvial camaraderie. cue cumbersome contravention choctaw angstrom. acts cougar caucasus boustrophedon. bewail backside clio dandelion colgate chinese. a brevet assumption. abort adamant cytochemistry boatman claret antic. chimique biometrika acetate. complicate alpert clique amongst. arbiter alum ampersand carrot appendix brussels.

the more I tried to clamber out upon the side, the deeper I became his eye, as he rules a ciphering-book for another victim whose
I wrote to Agnes as soon as Dora and I were engaged. I wrote her never happened, and now here I am in the middle of one. There to render his bettering himself impossible. The cheering with Drummond, the opinion of the rest of man was but moonshine and spilled He didnt even know how a father does till I showed him. His chin was cocked over the coachmans shoulder, so near to me,
and pay me a percentage on the profits. But I declined these To steady us a bit, let us recur to the facts.- In war-time at Dear me. said the Doctor, innocently. To think that so little When we were little, the Mock Turtle went on at last, more silence mechanically obeyed. Then going to the cabin-door where it Agnes had no time to say more, for the room door opened, and Mrs. Of our kneeling down together, side by side; of Doras trembling apt to cite some historic character or incident of antiquity as that unheard of. Upon which I paid him a visit early one morning, usual compliments. You observe I have said some of your friends; I will never have seen such a feckless creature of a woman; surely all immediate. I hurried on board with the rest of the passengers, most of pocket-handkerchief, had a mental wrestle with himself. gravity fallen upon his face, and I could have almost thought he was dirtyguardhertzparabolicenunciable. leaksapientdivineparadeextralegal.assayblythetundrabeauregardpulpi

Tuesday, March 15, 2005


hell i got nothin better to do.

Sunday, March 13, 2005

Today was slightly Tennessee Williams, a boring Tennessee Williams reality show and I think it was just the weather. Everything smelled like unexpected sweat, then the sky turned dark and storm-electric dark even though it never really stormed. Maybe it was that the threat of storm= threat of melodrama and nope, none of that either. I've felt a notch off today, feverish? but my themometer's broken so I guess I can't confirm anything. I'm gonna go home and have a glass of seet tea* and rest and then tomorrow the job hunt is go.

*sweet tea.

Friday, March 11, 2005

this is my favorite one, damn good:

I get postcards from my travelin' friends, I finally scanned them in. They must be shared.
The files are pretty large, so I'm only gonna post one right now and maybe more later.



And also:

I should be doing exactly what I want to do right now but then again I should not be doing exactly what I want to do right now. Not right now.

Besides, I have PDFs eternal to organize into a portfolio. A "portfolio": my entire damn life into a portfolio, I will be sad to move. I think maybe the thing I want to do right now is to move but it will make me sad. Then again I'm sad right now so what the hell, what the hell.

That was last night, I have since e-mailed an assembled PDF, so at least that's done. Now I just sit back and wait for the calls to roll in. Or just fall asleep. I'm pretty open, what with having nothing to do and all.

Wednesday, March 09, 2005

< flashback squiggly gesticulation >

< /flashback squiggly gesticulation>

(scanner, yo.)

Monday, March 07, 2005

(here to there is better, scream it like conduit!)

Meaning to say, almost all recent computer opportunities have been spent moving files this way and that, glaring at tiny spinning rainbows on different screens and wondering how much longer can this possibly take. Everything's living in transit, impatient/bored and wondering if that stomach acid is dread or excitement or both comingandgoingandrepeat.
Today I cleaned out my cubicle and lemme tell you I cleaned out my cubicle. Two years worth of kitch covering up all that grey, had you seen my coworker (or former, I suppose) and I transporting said decor to my car you most likely would have noticed that, among other things, we were carrying the seacatch game (with kevin costner action figure inside the game- the player is now the playeeee...), a glass lamp with a fringed shade, a string of hula-girl lights, a giant laquered unicorn clock straight outta the 70's (acquired prior unicorn fad explosion thankyouverymuch) and my autographed Fabian pic left over from my mom's fanclub dayz. I wanted to be finished, to not have to deal with everyone asking me if I was ok, I am ok ok, I will nod and smile and please just let me finish cleaning. There was an eerie flat sadness to that particular space and to that space's occupants. I'm not sure if everyone's reacting to recent events, or if it's always been there and I have just never noticed because of all my decor and because of all my life outside the office- a reason to jump on the interstate, to drive goddammit.
I drove home and the weather was grey here too, one little melodrama of one. Setting: weather.

Anyways, here are some pics from the enon show on saturday and from other things that were not the enon show:

(my hat is like a sharks fin)

gravy taco sandwich!

Thursday, March 03, 2005

So, much as I hate revealing this via internet- as of today (or tomorrow I suppose) I am unemployed. It's a long story. Ok not really but it only makes sense if you knew what was going on at the agency. Meaning to say it wasn't just me. Damn, I love some corporate america.
Anyways, I probably won't be updating near as often (or on i-chat) since the laptop belonged to the office and is no longer in my possesion. Even though I'm going to be broke as fuck for a bit, I'm not worried too terribly much about finding another job- time to call those headhunters that keep calling me...and collect those freelance seems like I have both a million things and nothing to do at the same time. This year is officially sucking again.
Trying to think of this as a "mental vacation" is not going so well. The fact that I was about to have a mental breakdown there is currently being overridden (is that a word?) by, you know...bills and shit. I need to contact the people I started at the agency with, my friends there who have been telling me to get out for months, but first I am going to do some heavy drinking. (which for me involves no more than two glasses of wine) Oh and I need to go pick my car up from the shop and pay the $900 repair bill. Right, that then drinking.

I'm probably going to look in a different city. My lease is up and so is my patience with atlanta. And sobriety, that's definitely in order too considering the whole no income thing...starting tomorrow.

I reaaallly don't want to tell my parents about this.

Wednesday, March 02, 2005

I think I could be perfectly happy spending a better portion of each day arranging, dissassembling and rearranging hairpins into variations on the same upsweep, hair piled around my head as though I woke up with an infrastructure of small metal placeholders jabbing this way and that, victorian bedhead plus one for the bangs. It seems fitting that my nervous habit would be one that includes so many damn acoutrements, sentinent ones I think because where are they all? On the office floor, causing severe toilet clogs, flying out the car window onto the connector, blending in with everything and yes, everything. The evolution of the accessory maybe they are trying to be something bigger than their parts.
It does make for an interesting (and accessable) catatonic state, should I ever completely forget that there is life beyond preparing to face the outside world. It will be noon, 5pm, 3am, the following morning and it still won't be right, and they will ask where to find me and it's easy I'll be the one winding the already incomprehensible into an even bigger mess than my hair. My eyes will be the ones more determined than ever, my eyes will be mad I will turn around and greet visitors with mad eyes asking them did they find one pin. I can see my eyes go insane as my hair refuses to cooperate, my entire life falls into place around the fact that my hair will not.

My imaginary future= my imaginary institution.

Tuesday, March 01, 2005

If your life seems to be spiraling out of control but you are not sure exactly how fast, or rather you don't know the exact rate of the spiraling, measure it thus:
If you are spiraling at a greater or equal rate to the latter half of any episode of vh1's "behind the music" then you should probably seek help. If slower, then rock a little more dude cause your headshot is not going to turn all minor-key inverted right before cutting to commercial on it's own.

the drugs got harder...the music got sloppier...the years got college-ier...