n'est pas

Last night around 3am I wrote: I HATE CARRYING PEOPLE AROUND LIKE A LUMP IN MY THROAT AND I AM JUST WAITING FOR THE HAT TO DROP.

And also:

I should be doing exactly what I want to do right now but then again I should not be doing exactly what I want to do right now. Not right now.

Besides, I have PDFs eternal to organize into a portfolio. A "portfolio": my entire damn life into a portfolio, I will be sad to move. I think maybe the thing I want to do right now is to move but it will make me sad. Then again I'm sad right now so what the hell, what the hell.

That was last night, I have since e-mailed an assembled PDF, so at least that's done. Now I just sit back and wait for the calls to roll in. Or just fall asleep. I'm pretty open, what with having nothing to do and all.