n'est pas

I am waiting it out until 6:30. Would you like to know why? Ok, here it go:
My friend and one of the swedish dudes from that band "soundtrack of our lives" are most likely fucking in my apartment. There is a .1% chance that they found the box containing the game "balderdash" in my closet and are currently exchanging intentional malapropisms, but what are the odds:
a) 48%
b) .1%
c) what are the odds of YOUR ASS
d) all of the above
e) none of the above
f) A and C
g) A and B
h) you've got to be kidding me, no multiple choice test goes all the way to "h".
i) this is AP Livejournal, bitch.
j) just for that you're getting an essay portion.
k) lmnop

Board game or otherwise, on the following provided* pages please explain how I always end up being the sober-est groupie, how exactly I should (upon returning to my apt) approach the aforementioned situation, and where exactly my life took a turn for the unremarkably surreal. Please reference at least two of the following works of literature in a manner which seems to support your theory, but in all actuality does little by way of supporting your essay or justifying humanity's existance:
Ethan Frome
Ethan Frome and the Prisoner of Riddick
Frome vs. Hawk: The Battle for Total Ethan Domination
The Complete Reader's Guide to Why Ethan Frome Sucks So Completely





*provided by you, the viewer. oh and show all notes.

hmm...