Thursday, August 31, 2006

Last night: The Secret Machines blinded me at the Palms Pool. Srsly guys, let's keep the lighting on the band and not shoot it out into the spectators' eyes. The weather was nice, the drinks were overpriced, the fashion show was a complete joke. All the pretty people were from LA. On the way home I saw one of my favorite muscle cars ever, the IROC:

All that shit needs is a screaming chicken and it would rock so hard, it would change the physical property of things around it.

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

I am really really sick of seeing those commercials for companies that in some fashion or another, helped out during Hurricane Katrina. Hey, hey look. Look at all these people we helped, we are a caring company buy our product. Especially insurance companies. Oh really State Farm? You gave people insurance checks to people who had flood insurance after their house flooded? That's not benevolent THATS YOUR FUCKING JOB.
I should go into publishing. But then I wouldn't get to be wacky.

I am thinking about getting a guinea pig, but all my plants are dead. So it worries me.

Here is a picture of a guinea pig:

I would have to name that one "the donald".

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Monday, August 28, 2006

Sunday, August 27, 2006

I'm waiting for the soy chicken to cool in the fridge, it's halfway through the fake chicken salad process. Everything is a process, everything is such a fucking process. My arms feel like spaghetti from weights at the gym, though I wonder if this strength training is even getting me anywhere- a future in discus and/or anvil hurling is looking rather grim. At this point, anyways. Last night I forwent the Killers afterparty (after what? after a show I didn't attend, either) in favor of not paying ten dollars to watch a Killer fumble awkwardly about a turntable or two. In favor of not seeing that bald go go dancing dude suddenly occupy an impressive amount of dancefloor. Instead I made a Pimms cup with fresh limeade, I made two actually. I'm going to start on Swann's Way soon. Tonight is the Japanther show. The sun is setting earlier, I wonder if anyone even notices.
There are rumors that next week the temperatures will drop back into the double digits

Friday, August 25, 2006

Young Jeezasaurus

"Pluto made the front cover of the las vegas paper- it has a giant 'just say no' sign around it. They also described pluto as the 'pipsqueak planet'"
"Everyone's favorite is saturn."
"Well it's the only one you can draw with a pencil and everyone knows exactly which planet it is."
"A producer i work with was like, 'my favorite is neptune. who likes neptune? no one! there's saturn of course. and uranus because it's big. what's neptune? it's not red, it's nothin!'"
"Neptune is blue and mysterious. I like to think of it as pluto's older brother."
"Ooh good way to think of it. I wish there was a planet named Young Jeezy."
"Too bad they don't let you name planets."
"Who do i have to blow to get a planet or a dinosaur named young jeezy around here??"

Thursday, August 24, 2006

Did you know that there is no lottery in Nevada? I'll let you think about that one for a second.

I am currently downloading/listening to "Another Green World". The desire to do this came on suddenly and with no real explanation, because I rarely sit and listen to an entire album- it's always shuffle round these parts. You can hear eno building that ill-concieved bridge into ambient, ill-concieved to me anyways- taking tiger mountain is one of my favorite albums of all time. All thyme.
Has everyone taken a shot at my movie quote meme? It took me like an hour this morning to throw it all together, luckily I have less than zero work on my plate right now so that's ok. Still. Everyone should take a shot at it because remembering things is important in the development of the brain, the broab. Now I am just making shit up.
I can't believe Pluto is not a planet anymore. My Very Excited Mother Just Served Us Nine

Nine what. Nothing, that pneumonic device is done for.

I did this movie quote meme primarily for livejournal- I get more audience participation over there, but hell I may as well give you guys a shot too.
GUESS THE MOVIE THAT EACH QUOTE COMES FROM AND WIN AN IMAGINARY PRIZE. Guess it in the comments, you guys- not just aloud to yourself.

1. There you go, hiding behind a smokescreen of bourgeois cliches.

2. Eileen Harriet Palglace will have final say on every known subject, including who should be put to death, what clothes everyone should wear, what movies suck, and whether bald men who grow ponytails should still get laid.

3. Oh no, Dad. It's completely baked.

4. "Were they done for your mother's benefit?" "No, no I wouldn't say 'benefit'."

5. And it was. I was totally fine. I've never even been to Mt. Vesuvius.

6. What characters? There's a bunch of little kids dressed up in animal costumes.

7. I'm not my dear, you can fuck my dear.

8. I already know an awful lot of people and until one of them dies I couldn't possibly meet anyone else.

9. And you can always take off the skirt and use it as a cape.

10. I'm sorry, but I thought I better hit you before he did. He's in better shape than I am.

11. How the hell do I know why there were Nazis? I don't know how the can opener works!

12. The whole purpose of places like Starbucks is for people with no decision-making ability whatsoever to make six decisions just to buy one cup of coffee.

13. I've seen The Exorcist about a hundred and sixty-seven times, and it keeps getting funnier every single time I see it.

14. Jazz is the last refuge of the untalented. Jazz musicians enjoy themselves more than anyone listening to them does.

15. Failure is not an option. And Bethany? If you feel the need to vomit up there, just swallow it.

16. I'm standing where my, uh, living room was and it's not here because my house is gone and it's an Ultimart!

17. It's so stimulating being your hat.

18. Gee, I wish we had one of them doomsday machines.

19. I've been very lonely in my isolated tower of indecipherable speech.

20. It's nice to live in a country where life, liberty... and all the rest of it still stand for something.

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Look at my new bag I bought at Target:

Apparently it's only available at certain targets and is already going for like $100 on ebay. I bought it for $35 but if I had known it was worth so much I might have bought the other one too.


this patton oswalt cd is the funniest thing ever. i look like a gay wizard right now in my enchanted toadstool!

Monday, August 21, 2006

look around you...just look around you...

(this is probably the best thing I have seen on youtube in awhile)

Sunday, August 20, 2006


Oh man, did I just see Snakes on a Plane or what. I saw the hell out of that movie. I totally just did that.

Sunday, August 13, 2006

Yesterday I all I ate were pudding cups. I ate two pudding cups. I fell into the pool, it felt nice, but I was so out of it and I thought maybe the other people at the pool could tell that I was out of it so I only stayed outside for about a half hour. I went back inside and almost finished a book. I watched northern exposure. It's a good show, I had forgotten that it was a good show. I hope it didn't get shitty at the end, like Frasier or the X Files. I never actually watched it while it was on. I am going to the gym. I want to run outside but that's a ridiculous concept in this sort of weather. And thai food, that too. I need to clean- there are two empty pudding cups on my bedside table. Yesterday was a grey gardens sort of day.
I could write about friday night and what gave me the hangover but it's just old familiar vodka tonics and oh I forgot that the guy from jurassic five was djing. I forgot about that. There was some impressive breakdancing. Erin was wondering if breakdancing was a dominant gene. I don't think babies pop-lock their way out of a womb.

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

If anyone can provide me with a link to video footage of cynthia mckinney's recent televised mental breakdown, in which she sings a Pink song into the microphone, I would be greatly appreciative.

Tuesday, August 08, 2006


Saturday, August 05, 2006

Last night I decided to paint my fingernails bright fucking red. Today I have put my hair up in tiny buns, hoping it will be wavy when I take them down. As it is I look like some cartoon j-pop rave chick from the early 90's. Somebody pass the plastic clothing, please.
Saturday gym time, saturday pool time, saturday netflix time, today it was Soylent Green and I bet it would have been better if I did not already know that SOYLENT GREEN WAS PEOPLE PEOPLE PEOPLE POPSICLES. I do like that they called the prostitutes (kept women?) "furniture". 2022 is going to be such a great year I can feel it all the way from here.
Later there's an expensive birthday party starring that band The Subways but right now I am going to go see what Target can do for me. I have to take down this hairdo first.

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

devo drag

drawing restraint 14

jal and a sandwich

forbidden island at alameda

no gum you guys

imperial teen supernova

loch ness spinach

and now the zoo animals

sebastian "not really a zoo animal"

Oh man. Ok, back from San Fran, or I should say back from San Fran plus an extra sick day because my back was so locked up/ in pain that I could barely walk. I maybe should not have gone to the zoo on monday but who can say no to the zoo, especially a zoo with a meerkat disco?
Some things I learned while in SF:
-you can get half-drunk for free in alameda, and with a little finagling you can get full drunk.
-seagulls are basically assholes.
-drawing restraint seven is hilarious you guys. you just have to see it.
-I am not good with stairs and dollar slots.
-when a cabbie tells you that his credit card machine is working, it probably isn't.
-other stuff, I don't remember.
pictures to follow, yo.