I'm watching that show "The Tudors", which is one of those shows where the loud parts are really fucking loud and the quiet parts are impossible to hear, which I hate. Otherwise, it's ok. There seems to be alot of sports and sex during this particular monarchy, but I'm only on the first episode and also presumably the first queen. It's been awhile since I've brushed up on my european history, even though it was far and away my favorite subject in school. Anyway. Anyways.
I spent most of this weekend lounging beside several different pools. Pool party! It's been awhile since I've been to one of those, the combination of chlorine and beer and things cooking on a grill is great and also sleep-inducing, so I've limited my alcohol consumption to daytime only this weekend. Plus everyone is at coachella.
Oh hey every other scene in this show is sex. It's like Rome but with British accents with fuller skirts. And also, Sam Neill will forever be the dude from Jurassic Park only wearing different costumes.

I need to take a tiny weekend vacation one of these weekends.

So I went and saw Air last night and it was, of course, amazing. They wore darling matching white suits and I wanted to wrap them up and take them home, I have a perma-crush on that keyboard player, little boy haircut and all. I love shows where I can lean on the stage and stare. Afterwards we went downstairs to "body english" and saw this hilariously bad metal cover band. I seriously thought I was watching the rock and roll clown from metalocalypse, and wanted to yell out I DO COCAINE but I don't think they would get it.

not Air

I have strange vicodin dreams where I'm married to somewhat famous women and am forced to do the taxes of the exiled, or come face to face with living breathing SAT word problems. Apparently my subconcious can control time and space but not sexual preference, I'm party trick at best. It's not a surreal dreamscape so much as mixed-up brainfiles, and it's getting harder to deal with the snooze portion of my mornings.

That band Slint is overrated.

Oh wow, Kirsten Dunst is kind of an idiot. Did anyone else read this in Stereogum?:


[She] reminisces about the music she listened to as a child, from the likes of Guns 'N Roses to the soundtrack of musical Les Miserables, but admits she isn't a fan of the artists which dominate today's charts. She says, "It's harder to find great music these days. We have Amy Winehouse now, I guess and Bono (of U2). But still our biggest bands back home are crap ... We don't have a Bob Dylan; where are all the great writers? We don't have enough new great talent. We just don't have the inspirational songs that pop out."

Yeah, too bad Bob Dylan had to die so young. At least Bono's still around. Thank god for Bono. Holy fuck, I really just hate everyone right now.


I have no concept of what day of the week it might be.

i don't know about you but i make a yes/no decision every second or so. "SHOULD I KEEP ON BREATHING? I'D BETTER ASK MY LUNGS" and then my lungs say "HELLS YES WE LOVE THAT STUFF"

I worked all weekend, come Friday I'm going to be just a little crazy. One time I worked an entire month without a single day off. Also, I went to high school with this chick. Has anyone here ever heard of her? I'm not that into country, not even indie country, so it's a little off my radar.

I'm going to get the gatsby book jacket face tattooed on my wrist, except without the blue background. Best damn decision I've made all week.

The Ladies Home Journal from December 1900 contained a fascinating article by John Elfreth Watkins, Jr. “What May Happen in the Next Hundred Years”.

Click here for the link, it's kind of amazing and also hilarious.

My favorite:

Prediction #16: There will be No C, X or Q in our every-day alphabet. They will be abandoned because unnecessary. Spelling by sound will have been adopted, first by the newspapers. English will be a language of condensed words expressing condensed ideas, and will be more extensively spoken than any other. Russian will rank second.

this is serious boy swimming faster than a shark bizness, people.

(what life was like in 1900)

oh, hey.

I had a wisdom tooth removed this morning (by what seemed like eight asian dentists) and now I'm stuck at home on vicodin. I say stuck at home on vicodin like it's a bad thing, but my creative director was yelling at me to GO HOME earlier when I went in to finish up some work. I don't like leaving things to other people, other people are idiots.
I can't wait until I am the boss.

And also, I can't decide which show is worse: reba or bernie mac. Or not being able to smoke for three or four days.

where were you when they built the ladder to heaven?

How long do you think before Alan Jackson (or some equally smarmy untalented new-country "musician") writes a song about the school shootings, making a shit-ton of money exploiting yet another tragedy? I give it a month.

I don't get why there is a laugh track in MASH.

hey, if you guys need me i'll be doing my laundry down by the fishin' lake.

I could write about the passing of Vonnegut, and how he could throw together a sentence and all that madness, or I could write about how sleepy I am and how it's prime napping weather, but instead I'm going to take this opportunity to post about HELLO KITTY AIRLINES AND ARE YOU SERIOUS:

come on, we're trying to have a civilization here people.

Last night I kept switching between The Bachelor: An Officer and A Tool Gentleman* and a PBS documentary on the Jonestown cult. I honestly couldn't decide which situation was weirder. Oh wait, you know whats the weirdest thing I've seen on television recently? You know what wins? A Sesame Street short about an Eskimo child getting ready to go out and play in the snow.

*every time someone says "an officer and a gentleman", in my head i think "an officer and a gentlemonkey" thanks to that time mst3k watched the planet of the apes ripoff movie.

update!

I wikipedia'd the word "wikipedia", just to see what impact it would have on the space-time continuum.

"Blades of Glory" is worth it just for Will Arnett and Amy Poehler's couples skate "ode to urban street culture". To the tune of Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch.

This weekend to include GRINDHOUSE AT THE DRIVE-IN maybe, DRINKING definitely, and watching a bunch of Robert Redford movies whilst chilling in mah infinitely clean apartment, because I have a (weird, yeah i know) thing for clean-cut all american blonde boys wearing turtleneck sweaters. Track and field/crew a plus. The exact opposite of 95% of the dudes I hook up wit'. Is what I'm saying. Anyways:

ok, i can't find the turtleneck sweater, but close the fuck enough.

here's a video that combines the trailer for that movie 300 with some cake.



i think i'd rather see this version.

Well, that was a nice 28 year run without cavities. I'm having my cavity-riddled wisdom tooth pulled in two weeks.


It's really just one, but "riddled" is such a great word.

this entry is comprised of things stolen from other blogs on my roll

Holy fuck you guys, season two of Twin Peaks is finally out on dvd. That's all I got for today, I've been hanging out with the moms for five days so there's nothing much to report besides the fact that underseas movies get awesome when they are in 3d.

Oh, and check this out: Body Magic. Where do I get one of those slap bracelet ties?