n'est pas

Hey, my archives are back. Finally. What does this mean to you, the reader? It means if you were wondering what was on my mind in say, July of 2004 you can go to the drop-down menu to your right that reads "past versions" and see just what that thing was that was on my mind.

ONE OF THE THINGS THAT WAS ON MY MIND JULY OF 2004:

I think a lot of people operate in that space between. It's a big space, so beyond big as we measure scale, universes are born and give way to gravity's temper tantrums in the space between knowing nothing and knowing everything. The tiny tiny chaos we marvel even works day to day has to align itself so that the one two three four and so on but exactly right until god knows when before one day we just know. And it has to be perfect, even though nothing is perfect so they say once this happens we can look back and say "ok that was perfect. that is the standard from now on."
The biggest catch of them all is that we won't see it coming until the very end, and who knows when it starts or when it ends or if it's already started or if it's ending in the next five seconds. If we are lucky (and it really is pure luck, none of this karma nonsense) some of our used subatomic mess ends up looking down on this planet wearing a goddamn smirk. Just knowing when and where.
But mostly it becomes waste.
I see the future as me and you and the others I hear knowing knowing everything in the same moment we are vaporized to bits. Split the right atom chain and its humanity all at once my god what a long line at the pearly gates if that's what you think of when I mention of splitting atoms. And yes I honestly think that these exponential years of evolution leading up to man what we consider modern, what we call intelligence was all for one moment of understanding for the lucky pools of radiation. Grab a snack you're gonna want to watch this.

Man, I used to be a pretentious little fuck.