n'est pas

My friend Sam wrote this:

To the editor of People in response to the article concerning the sexiest man alive.

Dear Editor,
This letter is the first of many that you will be recieving I am sure.
While I do not subscribe to your magazine I do occasionally see the
cover while at the local supermarket. It was just last night while I was
picking up some Vitamin B-12 I noticed the cover to your magazine. I
must say that was as far as I got. After reading the words emblazoned
on the cover that stated Johnny Depp was the sexiest man alive, I went
into a panic. I got a little dizzy and my mind started racing. I screramed
at the lady behind, "Hold me, I think I may very well be dead!" She
looked at me with fear in her one good eye and fled to the frozen foods
section some twenty yards away. "Can you see me?" I asked the cashier.
After he tried to kick the bejeezus out of me, I threw a five on the
floor and ran out of there clutching my B-12. As you might imagine,
the bus ride home was just as strange. Surely these people can see me, I
thought to myself. Yet, like a ghost, I sat silent at the back of the
bus. It took me quite some time after I got home to realize that I was
alive, and you, sir, had made a horrible mistake. I do not know
whether it was the fact you did not know I was still alive or the quality of
your research department had slipped greatly. In either case someone should
be reprimanded for the error which dashed my sexiness onto the rocks of
uglification. I have started a grass-roots campaign to get a recall
vote going and be forewarned, it is quickly and quietly gathering speed.
Like a riptide of radiant beaty against a wave of withering sexiness this
procession will spread throughout your readers and leave them demanding
a recall in this illegitimate crowning. I speak for the people, sir, and
with great pride I say, "WE WANT A RECALL!"

Vote Sam!