n'est pas

A bit of Christmas buying insanity advice: If you are at Wal-Mart and have in your cart a microwave, DO NOT attempt to take it through the U-Scan. Because you cannot lift it on your own. And even if you can, there is no angle on earth that's gonna make that bar code hit that scanner. Even if the really nice girl behind you helps. And the U-Scan "cashier" says "you have all these bar codes on them you have to scan the right one" (when you know full well that you didn't put them there). And all the other lines are god-awful long and some old people behind you are complaining about how Wal-Mart is making so much money by only keeping two lanes open. And even if you have a kickass timex digital indiglo watch in your cart. Usually I enjoy a good trip to Wal-Mart but usually I don't go during the Christmas rush, and usually I go at two in the morning to wreak havoc. Actually, I only had fun there when Sara and I went to collect "EVOL HIGH" supplies. Every other time I either get hit on by some creepy guy or get hit on by some other creepier guy. I recall playing over and over again with a Presidents of the USA toy where when you pressed the George W. Bush button it said "leader of the war on terror." We pressed it about 50 times and found it hilarious each time.

My mom has big plans for us to see "Mona Lisa Smile" and make cookies, presumably not at the same time. While it sounds good in theory, I'm going to guess it dissolves into an argument in about five minutes.

A good portion of my extended family thinks I work at CNN, even though I've told them otherwise. Okay, granted my workplace is a series of initials so they're halfway there. Eventually I'm just going to give up and let them think that. I'm an anchor. But you have to watch all the time or you might miss me. Hey, I might actually get an educated political discussion out of this! Or just more bigoted mid-Alabama rants.

My mom won't let me argue with my ultra-conservative family members, no matter what they say. It can get really annoying.

Where did they get CNN from?