Picture pages! Picture pages!


A shirt I made (and look maniacally happy about). The belt is from Kohls! Six dollars!


My James Spader 80's woven leisure shoes.


Easter 'round these parts. (The magazine is mom's, I don't read Redbook. Except for that one; I can now answer any and all Kate Walsh / cancer myths / clutter resolution trivia. BRING IT ON.)


They opened a Serendipity3 in Vegas. And you thought the one in NYC was touristy!


"Uh, yeah I'm staying right behind Marie's left nostril."


My sewing box, filled with thread from the 80's.


If I decide to make another bowl of this later it will be the highlight of my day. For realz.

IT'S OVER

Well, that was bad, but it was still better than The Bucket List.

So, I'm going to record my thoughts as I watch the movie Twilight, live, from my living room.

Well, I should probably log in before the movie starts, lest I miss any opening monologue-action. Shit, this movie is two hours long? Two hours and two minutes. Ideal movie length for me is around an hour and a half, if not shorter. I might have to pause this to make a sandwich or run around the block or something.

6:26 pm: this chick sounds perma-stoned. I can't understand half of what she's saying.

(oh, you thought i was gonna use actual liveblogging software? hahahah WRONG)

6:30: well, the soundtrack sounds promising, at least.

6:36: no one has any pigment in this movie, although that could just be the film.

6:37: nope, it's the pigment.

6:44: the acting in this movie is STELLAR. everyone seems like they are in pain.

6:45: I can't believe they didn't reverse-shot to inside the microscope so we can confirm that it is, indeed, anaphase.

6:47: oh good, they won the golden onion from Monk, the science teacher. i was on the edge of my seat-couch about that.

6:49: I've known dudes who stop mid-sentence and walk away who are NOT vampires. so there, TWILIGHT.

6:53: OH MY GOD THAT'S THE CREEPIEST LOOKING FAKE DOCTOR I HAVE EVER SEEN. Move out of the way, Christina Yang.

6:55: This movie looks like what happens when you turn up the cyan levels in the "selective color" photoshop options.

6:56: Seriously, did they just stab all these actors and then shove them into the scene? This is like the movie version of listening to Conor Oberst.

6:58: that apple trick was pretty cool, I'd date an emo vampire just for the apple trick.

7:00: "you caught that, huh". yeah, it was said out loud. like three seconds ago.

7:03: HOT GOOGLING ACTION

7:04: uh oh, small harbor town street toughs

7:12: "whoa. what is going on." TRY. HARDER.

7:17: haha, I like how every vampire descriptor is in a different old-timey font.

7:18: there's a lot of slow-mo going on here. I'm starting to see why it's two hours long.

7:18 (again): this monologue in the woods sounds like high school drama class. i guess that's the point, sort of.

7:21: glittery vampires! isn't that some sort of gothic lolita cosplay subset? it is, now.

7:25: I'm retracting what I said earlier, about the soundtrack.

7:27: ok, edward is kind of hot. but super annoying.

7:32: I like the random bursts of speed, for no real reason. Walk around the car SUPER FAST.

7:43: I'm taking a sandwich and salad break. Salmon sandwich = delicious.

7:51: so there are "eviler" vampires? from a british rave? in 1996? that "james" guy looks really familiar, can't place him. to the imdb! oh, ok he was on the o.c., also playing an evil rave vampire.

8:05: wow, that was quite the hunt. found her in all of five minutes, did you? IS THIS OVER YET

8:08: it's like the matrix fight, but with more hot topic. ok, with about the same amount of hot topic.

8:12: seems like it's almost over...do I dare hope

8:16: prom! it's going to be like "she's all that". yes!

8:22: whoa, the Radiohead is random. And welcome. ITS OVER

Oh hey, it's that same music director in charge of Grey's Anatomy and Gossip Girl and all that. Figures.

Like a tunnel under peaceful fire, I will lay you up.

Here's something to tide you over until I get around to liveblogging the movie "Twilight", when I watch it, whenever it arrives in my mailbox via netflix. I know nothing about the movie, having never read the book or had much of a desire to see the movie. But I've been wanting to liveblog something for awhile, and hey. It's as good a choice as the next thing. I guess. And this is all provided no one steals my mail, which I've always had a vague paranoia about:



It's part two of my two-part "Springtime on Hawthorne" series. Long time readers will (not) remember part one.

Here's something else:



Other things that I have been impressed with in the last week or two or so are the David Foster Wallace short story "Girl With Curious Hair" (the story, not the compilation, though that's good too), sewing shirts from the vintage patterns my mom brought from home, and pudding*.

Oh, and last week I had my wisdom teeth out. It made for a sinister, bloody smile. And a lot of television watching.

*I'm so fucking sick of pudding, you guys.

ALT PROM MIXTAPE STARRING:

KIM GORDON

and


JAMES SPADER

and


THIS SHOE




Download Here

Happy Mondays - Bob's Your Uncle
The Fall - Cab It Up!
Talking Heads - Stay Up Late
Echo and the Bunnymen - The Cutter
XTC - King For a Day
The Vaselines - Son of a Gun
Pixies - No. 13 Baby
James - Born of Frustration
R.E.M. - Can't Get There From Here
Tears for Fears - Change
Camper Van Beethoven - Pictures of Matchstick Men
Big Audio Dynamite - E=MC2
Sonic Youth - Kool Thing
Robert Floyd & The New Four Seasons - Something Nice
New Order - True Faith
Husker Du - Don't Want To Know If You Are Lonely
Make Up - I Want Some
Paul Westerberg - Dyslexic Heart
Tom Tom Club - Genius of Love
Primal Scream - Movin' On Up

There are no slow songs because at this prom, we're all on drugs. Download, burn, pop it in your jambox and let the festival of vaguely nostalgic awesomeness begin.