PIctures From the Clinton Liberry








I think my mom corrected this speech.






Here is the exhibit about al gore inventing the internet.


This is kind of creepy.




Me in the women's bathroom. Disco!


It takes a village to make an ashtray.


Clinton Presidential Christmas tentacles.


The end!

I'm writing lines for a Wolfgang Puck restaurant opening in the Washington D.C. Convention Center- or more specifically in the "Washington D.C. Convention Center Supreme Court Food Court".

...


"Yes, I'll have the 'Ruth Bader Ginsburger', please."

The El Rancho Motel (of tomorrow) and other Route 66 randomness...










I like how they are acting out the picture behind them. There were so many fake* dinos on route 66!



*shallow and artificial

(woggles, subsonics, ocha, not all the same night dudes)

The Woggles:











The Subsonics:





Ocha La Rocha:






(here we see ronney clearly abandoning the stage...)

Things Vs. Stuff...from that yard sale once ago and from other places...the battle for domination of the pointless rages on...

I have not been able to upload in so so long- so starting here with The Ratt I plan to upload a shitload of pics from the last two months or so...not even including my cross-country trip pics, which I need to find a USB cable in order to do. Ok, here goes:

wordsmiths

"Let's get married, all three of us!"
-one of three very happy/drunk people on the strip.


"It's a cross between a club and a lounge. It's a clounge."
-my creative director

Ok, so that was three days in the car, staying overnight in Memphis with an old college friend, Little Rock and then a whole bunch of Oklahoma nothing, swinging by Wichita to pick up my friend Erin (on her birthday), hanging out in Wichita longer than anyone ever should (about 15 hours), driving overnight through Oklahoma City, Amarillo and a few truck stops where we played "spot the lot lizards" (a very overnight-on-I-40 game), sunrise passing through Albequerque, breakfast on a Route 66 hotel called something like "El Rancho" where the decor was half old english, half old west, getting really excited about geography and then decidedly unimpressed by giant rocks, the much-too-large petrified forest and I think the rocks won, fake! dinosaurs!, mountains n' shit, more mountains, I am sick of driving by now, the hoover dam (sucks), getting lost in vegas then un-lost, 4am drinks n' delirium, sunday driving apartment to apartment with no luck and then back at the hotel where my car pees antifreeze everywhere and renders itself undrivable yet again, my subsequent tiny mental breakdown, Erin taking us to dinner at margaritaville (oh yeah that one- the food was surprisingly good), fry island?, waking up too early after Erin flew back midwest, car towed, first day at work and already finished an assignment, I have a computer again but it is not a laptop, I am trying to get my expenses worked out, I am tired and sober but at least I have things to do, I am starting to get that I-am-going-back-to-the-hotel-alone-no-friends-here-lump-in-my-throat, ok I have a new assignment gotta go, later dudes.

The Clinton Presidential Library Museum Gift Shop should think about selling a build-your-own-model-bridge-to-the-21st-century kit. The library itself was awesome in the way that the 90's economy was awesome. Ok I am going to eat a cookie that it took an entire village to bake, and then search for the Al Gore vp commemorative lock box. And then more west! I am seeing the nation one ill-paved interstate mile at a time, and have about three seconds left on this computer.

ps. if you did not send it over the phone-

leave your street address here and win a free postcard! each has a unique story involving americana/the interior of my car.

I was going to write something about how the so fucking obviously unsaid is following me around like red balloons that lived during the french new wave but now I am wondering if there are any good songs about sandwiches.


out in t-minus something...

Everything is in flux. It's been a six-month long last night in town, all that's left in my fridge is an unopened bottle of abandoned hi-life and last fall's cvs cherry flu medication pick your afterparty fuckers there are this this and this many ways to drink the sun up.

I feel numb, I am going to stop trying to focus and hopefully will wake up having cleared a better portion of the midwest. In the meantime there is always, what, logistics I guess and waiting for reality to dissappoint one last time oh and there is also my mom who is pretty damn convinced I will lose this job too and is convinced in a such pitches only audible by howler monkeys and my subconcious in therapy ten years after.
I wish we all hovered five feet off the ground and traveled faster than the speed of weather, then maybe we'd actually be getting somewhere.

For the past 20 minutes I have been playing a game that involves placing a cat scratch tower back in the upright position as it is knocked over every five seconds by a flying ball of orange fur.

Has anyone ever used one of those pod moving services where they pack your stuff into a giant cube and then deposit it at your moving destination? I know nothing about it but I really like the idea of a giant cube landing in my front yard.

The other day I was driving and listening to the song that is also my ringtone and then my phone rang. It was weird.

Oh, and also I got a job in vegas and am moving soon.

Hey guess what my car costs $655.00 to fix.

So if anyone happens to trip over a bag of money, let me know.

Cheers,
Jill

ps. what the hell is an ignition coil

this is long and windy so don't read it unless you are compelled to do so by powers beyond your control.

I guess it would be a half-hour ago by now, about a half-hour ago the token dispenser at the transit station nearest to my house was operating sub-par, from what I could gather it didn’t seem to have the dispensing portion of its functionality worked out yet, a flaw causing it to be the brunt of two white sneakers head-on flying almost and it rocked back and forth, full of change. I took a step nearer to inform mister skilled in pseudo-judo (there’s your band name, sir) that if he was going to behave like that well why didn’t he just jump the turnstile because clearly no one was standing watch. Tokens shaking inside a metal box is, besides the train itself, the loudest noise that can be made by things contained within this transit stop (barring any further research) and no one took notice, came running, turned a head, and I was going to let him in on my turnstile idea when a whole mess of coins fell through the slot and he won, tiny-vegas style, like when you hit exactly $20.00 on the gas pump and confetti is sent flying through some insignificant corner of your head.
About fifteen minutes ago I was reminded that the escalator closest to the closest exit was closed, everyone in the car was reminded and in the process of doubling-back someone behind me shouted "damn you Decatur!" She was behind me but was she looking skyward to ground level, to the recipient of said damnation out to Decatur and all its concrete? And if so, could that be considered “raging at the heavens?” I certainly hope so.
Transit is worth noting if the weather is nice and you are reading Nabakov, nobody wants to read about the same damp flier you memorized due to lack of worthwhile stimulation- meaning to say bring a damn book, note to self. (Unless, of course, the information on this flier serves an important purpose at some later point, though honestly does anything serve such a purpose and if so does anyone care enough to search back for the two that may or may not pair with some future two- both of whose parameters remain hopelessly vague? In regards to this errant beep beep beep show flier I would say no, and make a note that I think the members of beep beep beep are replicating- a phenomena which this band may or may not be aware of. For the time being I’m calling it "the carbona-effect", but only for the time being.) I’m thinking about starting, I’m wondering where to start.
Or if it even matters, no of course not, events recalled are just that- recalled and recalled, called and recalled, call-re-called-around looped and everything’s a loop, neat little loops, my memory is composed entirely of 1. cheerios or 2. trampoline somersaults in montage-slow motion. It may be that I am unwillingly throwing together breakfast cereal commercials, nothing more than generic clips pasted together in such a way as to move product. Having had the same golden grahams jingle in my head for 18 years I’d say such repercussions are likely, if not inevitable. But even this jingle and it’s bastard offspring slide neatly into the aforementioned loops and I start to think around the lines of it doesn’t matter where I start, no it really doesn’t because it’s all gonna be there provided that this named “there” is it’s intended destination. (The previous sentence falls somewhere between motion-sick logic and old country inspirational down home lemonade wisdom, either way it makes no sense yeah I’m aware.) Take CNN for example- or rather watch CNN for example- watch it for only 20 or maybe even 10 minutes and information starts being repeated. The same clips get played over and over and you wonder just how many more times you can tolerate watching some faceless stylist comb through saddam’s beard before marching the two blocks between you and the CNN Center and then the ten escalators between the center and the actual working news hub and maneuvering through countless production assistants before finding the one with the play-button happy finger and giving him a very stern look a look that says "I’m disappointed in you, Mark" and it all just sounds so tiring that you sit back and watch the clip. And you just take it. Because it’s news and that is what you are supposed to do when there is news.
Ok, then. Two years ago. It's two years ago to this day. People are starting to appear and I mean really appear like they were born to appear right there and then and what once was a mass of designer jeans, chuck taylors and irony, tattoos and a sea of black hair dye becomes individuals, living smoking individuals. Wait-
Two years ago is a ridiculous starting point. Good god, its two whole years. Synapses are misfiring at the very mention of such a task, scrap that idea before someone gets hurt and someone else says its friendly fire, says it loudly in the general direction of the rumor mill. Forget I said anything about two years.
Yesterday afternoon, about 30 hours ago, I was cleaning out the drawer to my bedside table, the what they call junk drawer and in the process found a past waiting to crush me into the second dimension, making me feel less like shit and more like the surface material that shit occasionally lands on, on top of which everyone else in the world is having a better time of it.
A week ago, around seven days and five hours ago, I was mid-conversation or maybe halfheartedly searching for a lost topic and definitely on my 10th if not more cigarette when my friend says: "He asks about you, when you aren’t there." And right there in the front-porch quiet of 5am a goddamn imaginary aftershock almost knocked me off the hammock. Everyone feels it when time moves as it does and in it’s ways but sometimes I can feel these pieces of time stopping, getting trapped in the spaces between the words of an otherwise inconsequential sentence.
"He asks about you, when you’re not there." Did you feel it?
But good god where to start on that one.

I think that instead of spinners on my tires I should get hampsters in wheels to run in the opposite direction of the tires thereby creating a cool special effect for the passerby.

I am going to be Murphy Brown for Halloween.

here is why I should write for "zoobooks".

I think that I would like to see an owl in person. Perhaps in my backyard, or somewheres like that. Having never seen one, the owl seems less like an actual animal than it does a mythical creature, like a unicorn or an imaginary flying panda. And honestly, I think the owl deserves a bit more credit than that.

Come to think of it, I wonder why the fat boys were completely terrified of a villian who so closely resembled bacon.


note:
I think that this, the 1000th post on blog dehumidifier, quietly captures the essence of the previous 999- especially considering that at least 92% of the time anything remotely cryptic in said posts was usually just alluding to either barely-remembered hip-hop novelty acts of the early 90's or savory breakfast meats.


You do the math. Or alluding to the rockafire explosium!
oh wait are you still doing the math? cause yeah, I still want you all up on top of math's shit. that's all...


(thousand)

are you ready?

Somebody please buy me a computer. Here is another kitten picture, she likes to watch anything baseball-related:



Don't forget about the computer part!

Last post from Stokeswood? I believe so...oh man it is the end of something akin to an era. This is all going to make a fantastic story one day, once I get the initiative to actually start writing again. Unless they provide desired aliases, everyone is going to be named Steve 1-25 (give or take a steve).

This applies to maybe three people who read the blog, more to the livejournal crew...apologies to the blogosphere, as always.

Check out this awesomnity:



rockafire! explosion!

no credit taken or given:

(lost?)