Oh snap, I just remembered that when I was a kid I was on an episode of "What Would You Do?"
(the short-lived post-Double Dare Marc Summers vehicle. it had a lot to do with pies.)
I don't have the episode on tape, which is probably a good thing considering I'm pretty sure I was wearing really bad glasses at the time. Oh and for some reason my dad wore his sunglasses (he was in the audience) the entire time.
And he's not even a secret agent or Corey Hart or anything.

"I have been sober for four days."
"Oh my god!...I mean, congratulations."
"Yeah yeah. Good thing I decided to go sober on freak night. What the hell is going down on the dance floor?"
"I think this is the way people dance when you are sober."
"When they're sober?"
"Nope. When you are."
"I'm just glad they stopped the choreographed bits."
"Huh?"
"I said, I'm going home. I'm tired."
"I don't blame you."

This blog needs more pics! So here are some that I took last Wednesday night.









Ok, I don't know how that last one got in there...

I do not like the fact that goldfish snack crackers have faces. It is vaguely disturbing.
But I do like ping-pong.

Try not to get bogged down in "facts." Just remember: the future is inevitable.

Upon accidently leaving my television set on overnight, I wake up to a giant chemical fire ablazin about an hour east of where I live. It was sort of like waking up in the middle of your fire nightmare...except not really. Anyways it made my morning kind of wierd, news-wise. I don't think any of my co-workers knew anything about it except for one guy who described it as "awesome." "Did you see the plume? It's awesome!"

I am now listening to Nirvana's "Lithium."
I just wanted to share this moment with everyone, as I am actually quite busy with work today and have no time to write anything lengthy and thought-provoking.

Sobriety is making me do wierd things...for instance, I just signed up for ballet lessons. Which could be tough considering that I feel as though several steamrollers have been sharpening their parallel parking skills on my brain. I have exactly t-minus two weeks to get in some sort of shape.
Oh, did I mention I was going all sober and shite? Yeah, yeah we'll see (considering its only been two days). In a row!

Says nemesis Marty McFly:
"If that punk Alan Thicke makes one wrong move I will cut him. What would you do, Alan, without both arms?" (regarding fake threats we sign Thicke's name to)

-from "Behind the Music: Alan Thicke"

I think someone's cutting in on Stress's domain name. Except the numbers, but who looks at numbers? I sure don't.

YADA, YADA, YADDA: Jerry Seinfeld costarring with Superman in a second online short film available on the American Express Website. The flick, Hindsight is 20/20, debuted Thursday afternoon.

I wonder if the same cheerleaders who stood on the sidelines while shouting "Be Aggressive!" to their football player boyfriends, fifteen years later shout that very same cheer from the lobby of their husband's used car dealership during the really tough sales.
And I wonder if they wish they had, while in high school, yelled something more along the lines of "Be thinking bigger than community college!" or "B comes after A in the alphabet! Reading! Learn it!"
Probably would have made the choreography difficult...I suppose urging the defense to defend its patch of astroturf lends itself to synchronized ass shaking more so than a thorough- albeit loud-summary on basic photosynthetic processes.


I might go to Berlin for a week in August.
You can measure my increasing excitement in the number of excessive umlauts.

"I think he oversimplified the foundation of humanity by separating the facts of life into the "good" and the "bad," then stating that life is nothing more than a mix thereof. It's more complicated than that, which he himself would have realized had he witnessed Tootie's subtle yet complex range of emotions when she was turned down at the college of her choice. Instead he chose to spend months and months obsessing over the bridge in "The Valerie Harper Show" theme, only to have his work altered when valerie "rhoda" harper left the show and was replaced by the spritely yet oddly panlike Sandy Duncan."

-from "Behind The Music: Alan Thicke"

great, now my own page "is not found."
I have lost my webpage! Come back little webpage! Come baaaaaack!

I'm getting a lot of "website not found" on my links- stress and rippy among others.
What up with that?

Thanks to the beauty of i-tunes, I make way too many mix cds at work. This one, however, is particularly inspired:
Music from and inspired by the motion picture "Roboclash: The Reckoning"
When metal meets metal and makes loud clanging noises!
in-theaters early 200never.
The Voice of Energy- Kraftwerk
Dirty Robot- Arling & Cameron
Alpha Beta Gaga- AIR
I Saw The Future Going Downtown- I Almost Saw God In The Metro
James Bond Theme- The Ventures
Space Oddity- David Bowie
Electric Renaissance- Belle & Sebastian
Plug it in- Basement Jaxx
Jellyfish Blues- Buffalo Daughter
Modern Love Waltz- Philip Glass
Digital- Joy Division
Idioteque- Radiohead
Lo Batt- Man Or Astro-man?
Scientist- The Dandy Warhols
Robot Love- Victor Lams
Electric Avenue- Eddie Grant
Intergalactic- The Beastie Boys
One More Robot/Sympathy 3000-21- The Flaming Lips
Brand New Colony- The Postal Service
Disposable Parts- Enon
20th Century- Combustible Edison
Mr. & Mrs. Nuclear- They Might Be Giants
Transistor- Kraftwerk
(I really wanted to put "The Final Countdown" on there but all I had was the crappy dance version.)

"It doesn't matter how good you are at it, every time I hear someone playing the bagpipes it sounds like an animal is getting stepped on."
"Or a cop just died."

Oh, those crazy kids running our country are at it again.

I only eat things named after musicians who died before their time.

Justify this!
And then make your ice cream sandwich sing "Chantilly Lace." C'mon. It will be fun I promise.

How to get yourself a nice keyboard-shaped mark on your face:
Rainy monday +
Sigur Ros

voila.