I just used the following phrase: "That sounds like a hip-hop version of The Traveling Wilburys".


PUBLISH

Gay flamingo couple adopts baby flamingo.

The shark world now has it's very own jesus.

Hey, those headlines above are also links. Click them for what's going on in nature!

Este quelpo es delicioso! Tengo ganas de quelpo esta noche!

I like to order things online and then obsessively track the package via the USPS website as it travels across the country. It's like that one widget that you can plug a flight into and it will tell you where the plane is at that exact moment. It's mostly likely hovering over texas. I'm a little insane, but not in that cool self-indulgent suicide watch sort of way, in that I track and control everything in my life to the nth degree and have tiny anxiety attacks for no real reason sort of way. WRITE A POETRY ABOUT THAT SYLVIA PLATHBOTS. Hey, there's always drinking. Drinking helps.

ANOTHER RANT: It really pisses me off to see mediocre writers get awesome advertising jobs but hey it's advertising and I have to remember that it's JUST ADVERTISING. Life tends to favor mediocrity anyways, it's a law of nature. Everything does it's damndest to become lukewarm. To become room temperature. It's why we get condensation and weather and Dane Cook movies.

If you want to feel good about yourself and about life in general, do yourself a favor and stay the fuck away from Cory Kennedy's blog.

Remind me to never again drink anything the cocktail waitress describes as "sort of a long island iced tea with chambord". Also could be described as "gasoline with grape kool aid". Man. I spent most of the morning drifting in and out of sleep, I literally had a dream about A PILE OF PUPPIES but got jolted out of it by a loud banging at the door. It was the in-person version of a wrong number, the kind that requires you to throw on clothes before assuring the person at the door that no one named Annalucia lives inside your apartment. Preakness, poolside and also- I just ate at the Atlanta Bread Company for old time's sake. Update! Still sort of sucks. There are so many better foodtime exports Atlanta could have provided.
The news is on the background, I'm really tired of Bush uttering the words "freedom" and "love" in the same sentence.

Patrick Wolf at BB tomorrow night! Yes! And also! I have nothing really to say about of late, I'm using this entry more to plan upcoming events in my head and lay them out on paper, because when they are on paper they are real. Peppermill tonight, PW tomorrow night, San Diego next weekend, Atlanta in a month. Someone's always in town, that's another good part. You should all come visit at one point or another. It's 100 degrees outside today, and I am not lying. Eternal pool weather. It hasn't rained for some time.

Here's what this entry looks like with pictures:

patrick wolf


peppermill


san diego

You know, when you put a pair of sunglasses on a monkey, you really can't lose. It's comedy gold, every time.

I'm pretty sure the last episode of Gilmore Girls ever is going to be airing tonight. Where will I get my arcade fire references from now?

In chapter sixteen of making my own info-tainment, I am going to write a tv show. It's going to be a combination of the gilmore girls back when it was good, greys anatomy back when it was good, every season of the west wing except for season five, and featuring that guy who plays ben on LOST, playing ben except in an alternate dimension where we accept string theory to be the only natural theory in the universe. It's going to look something like this:

I might be in Atlanta mid-June, we'll see.

I know you guys are wondering what it is I have been listening to as of late. Here's the rundown.




ok. friday.

I'm almost finished with V. and I'm wondering why I'm only now just starting into Pynchon. I want to buy everything he's ever written and take in it all at once through am IV, to walk around with a dirty needle stuck in my arm and a tube filled with slow postmodern symbolism. I like it when I run my metaphors into the ground. Don't you? Cause I sure do.
It's so hot outside, it's suddenly and unbelievably summer. The desert does not fuck around with this season. I want to buy Banjo a tiny lifeguard stand, hat and whistle, none of which he will know how to properly manipulate. These are my summer plans! Let it be known.

A good afternoon activity would be to sit and listen to that song "All You Zombies" over and over again until you can completely understand it, and then explain it to me because the entire concept is blowing my mind. I've had all these naming assignments today, I've spat out so many names today. Earlier there was a cloud of orange smoke in the distance, explosion at the thousand island factory? Earlier I ate a potato chip that tasted a little like primer, explosion at the Tang factory? Everything looks closer when it's flat. God knows.

My old ATL crew are all up in this MTV piece. Go figure.

I'd like to start a middle eastern-themed jam band and call it "Acouscoustics".


Wait, maybe not.

I hate people who blatantly show off during yoga class. I don't mean just doing a certain pose better than anyone else in the room, I mean like the chick last night who did a split when we were supposed to be in pigeon. She just annoyed me. Later at home I was wondering to myself if I could do splits like when I was twelve and HEY GUYS I TOTALLY ALMOST CAN. Thanks, yoga.
I'm having one of those lunchtime dilemmas where I'm too hungry to decide what to eat. Hasn't television been good this week? Is it sweeps? Lost was good, so was House and tonight is the Grey's spinoff that we are calling "ADDISON! starring Kim Gordon". I'm one of those losers who watches television. "Television: more entertaining than most of las vegas". That should tell you something right there.

In case you're wondering, Matt Lauer Sandiego was in Dubai this morning. Shocker, I know. I need one of those adrenaline shots. Also, a sandwich.

this made me laugh.

IN THE CRIMINAL JUSTICE SYSTEM, MIXTAPES ARE CONSIDERED ESPECIALLY ANNOYING. (wait, what?)


Download here: A Law And Order Themed Mix Of Songs

Tracklisting (guaranteed not to download in this order):

1. Law and Order theme dance remix (i'm pretty sure made this)
2. Elvis Costello- Watching the Detectives
3. Enon- Murder Sounds
4. Broken Social Scene- Almost Crimes
5. Luna- The Alibi
6. OutKast- Call The Law
7. David Bowie- Dead Man Walking (acoustic version)
8. Blood on the Saddle- Please Quit Calling Me From Jail
9. Cibo Matto- We Love Our Lawyers
10. Michael Jackson- Smooth Criminal
11. Mates of State- It's the Law
12. Duran Duran- View to a Kill
13. Talking Heads- Psycho Killer
14. Jarvis Cocker- I Will Kill Again
15. New Pornographers- Breaking the Law
16. Primal Scream- Blood Money
17. Busdriver- Kill Your Employer
18. Maxi Geil and Playcolt- You Can't Kill Us Man, We're Already Dead
19. Brian Eno- Dead Finks Don't Talk

This makes more sense in the livejournal context, but hey. Random's good.

I've had one of those incredibly productive mornings, the kind where I feel finished by noon and am now ready to either sit by the pool with a margarita or have an impromptu dance party, neither one is going to happen because, hey. I have a job. And also my car is fully reregistered for the year, my smog is checked, my headlines are finished, my television script is almost finished and I've managed to save several massive media conglomerations from impending bankruptcy. No? Ok, but I was just on the phone with one of them. Being an adult is awesome. Here's something from 30 Rock:

"Moonquest: Quest For The Moon"