it counts as content

here is something that will probably haunt your dreams in the night:

ps. i don't actually like sting

If I have to do yoga one more time to that "Just Breathe" song I am going to "Just Punch Someone". The teachers at 24 hour fitness must have some kind of contractual obligation to use that song as much as humanly possible. I'm trying to do yoga, not feel like I am in the pivotal part of a one hour television drama. Now c'mon. The sting cd is sitting right there. You know you wanna.

Yesterday I had one of those lost days (not a day watching the show lost, a day that didn't feel as complete as a day should), getting out of bed just long enough to take the overflowing garbage out and setting the television to fox so I could watch "Family Guy"...Red Dawn...red dawn...Hey, if you guys have any trouble sleeping, just turn on that show Brothers and Sisters. That did the trick for me.
This morning I idiot-ically realized I left my laptop at home after driving the thirty minutes to work. It took me another hour to retrieve it. On the way I listened to NPR (so if anyone asked, it was research, that's "research" you guys) and learned that not only is tattoo ink not regulated by the food and drug administration, it also probably contains carcinogens. And also, don't buy a house in Nevada or Georgia. Or if you do, get a fixed-rate mortgage. People are getting screwed on those other kinds. Something about interest rates.
I am a decanter of knowledge. A wellspring, even.

livejournal is like bizarro-land sometimes

dehumidifier (6:27:02 PM): why does everyone in the greys anatomy lj community hate meredith
_stadtkind_ (6:27:05 PM): i dont!
_stadtkind_ (6:27:07 PM): i kinda love her
_stadtkind_ (6:27:09 PM): you know this
_stadtkind_ (6:27:20 PM): she's kinda my ideal woman
_stadtkind_ (6:27:23 PM): 10 pounds
_stadtkind_ (6:27:25 PM): and sketchy
dehumidifier (6:27:49 PM): that sounds like my ideal drug score

And also I am a highly quotable genius.

The best ponderence I have read so far this morning comes directly from the oceanchum blog-what would happen if i applied head-on directly to another part of my body?

I imagine the results would be feeding-gizmo-after-midnight bad. I mean there has to be a reason they say APPLY DIRECTLY TO THE FOREHEAD 80 times in the commercial. That's lawsuit prevention right there, folks.

Last night I went to a going away party to which the person going away never showed up. It was beyond rude on his part, but I can't say I was angry or anything because it did give me the opportunity to watch The Biggest Loser with an actual contestant who was on the show. And also, to eat fried cheese sticks while watching The Biggest Loser with an actual contestant from the show. Aah, vegas you never fail to amaze me you wacky city you.
After two thirteen hour work days I figured ok I am going to sleep in another fifteen minutes this morning. I called erin from the interstate and she answered the phone with "oh shit you just woke me up." Punctuality= not our team's forte. Our team's forte lies somewhere closer to the land of cute hair and sarcasm. Tonight I plan to work out like nuts and then watch television. Normal nights! I love them.
My debit card has not yet come in the mail. I have five dollars left in my wallet, four of which are going to cigarettes.

BB friday night usual nonsense, completely wasted (dude, wasted. dude.) plus I left my wallet there only to find it the next day after having canceled all my credit cards. All I did for the rest of the weekend was nurse a hangover while watching tv on dvd. It infected my dreams. Here are some pictures:

this guy had an ascot and a vanity cane. next week i shall one-up him with a vanity rascal and respirator.


i don't know any of the people in this picture.

oh and here is the cake I made erin last weekend for her b-day:

Beautiful day, sunny and in the 80's, only a mild fire advisory (don't start one because it will spread like, um, wildfire) and only one deadly-car-crash-due-to-street-racing-where-the-car-jumps-the-median-slams-into-a-cop-undercover-as-a-taxi-driver-splitting-the-car-into-and-each-half-ends-up-on-a-different-side-of-the-street, meaning only one street closing.

I should go to Butch Walker tonight and pretend that I care, like and and I did that one time outside of el myr, but I don't think I want to pay for all that. Maybe I will go to the "official afterparty" at the Beauty Bar. (Don't be fooled by other afterparties my friends.)

my new workout plan

I am going to fill my ipod shuffle with Tom Petty's "Running down a dream" so that next time I am on a treadmill I will be set. Because I pretty much run in place every time that song comes on. Maybe I will alternate that song and "Chariots of Fire", even though I have doubts about my ability to actually run in slow-motion.

I know it's only Thursday, but here is what I plan on doing this weekend between being hungover and probably working some too:



And you know what, I don't care how stupid-girly it is. Because ever since I went off birth control my female hormones have been in a tailspin and manifesting itself in this being my new favorite show ever. As I said, tv on dvd is god's greatest gift to sundays. Well, that and thai food and pudding cups.

Hey everyone let's make ourselves into Simpsons characters! Click here to do that.

Every time a character in a movie works at an advertising agency there is always some big campaign pitch that they are involved in, and they are always involved in it no matter what department they work in. Anyways, they always come up with one great big idea and either THAT'S IT THEY SOLVED IT or it fails miserably. Either way they are only expected to come up with one idea. Those people are so lucky. FUCK YOU FICTIONAL CHARACTERS it's actually more like eight.

It's possible that I am only attracted to guys who are already in relationships on some kind of unconcious level. That being said, here is a completely unrelated blog entry:
Earlier I watched Federer defeat Roddick for the US Open title, he is probably the best tennis player in the history of tennis. If not now, in a few titles. He is un-stop-a-ble, like Jal's stopsign-shaped picture frame. Which never did make much sense. (I don't have anything insightful to say about tennis.) During the trophy ceremony Banjo was running around the chairs, under the coffee table and doing wild sprints back and forth across the designated dining portion of our living room. He has had a taste of relative sweet freedom.
I already went running today but I kind of want to go back to the gym. I would like to lose ten pounds immediately please. Oh cool a new Simpsons. This entry is being brought to you in real time. I am going to go get some limeaide. I got some limeaide, awesome.
I just saw a commercial advising me to "find out how meth affects you".

Banjo! The pictures!







and here's some cage flare (protector sea creature):

So there's a group of religious zealots holed up in a church in North Las Vegas because they are convinced that the apocalypse is coming. Like, today. Or tomorrow. Or at some point in the near future, because they say they aren't leaving until it comes. It's kind of awesome because one of the weathermen this morning predicted "dark skies, pestilence and locusts- haha no I'm kidding it's only the dark skies part". Apparently no one will ask them to leave their church bunker but they do run the risk of ridicule on channel 13 action news. (Who won't provide an online link for me to include in this entry.)

The apocalypse kind of looks like it's going to rock, especially if you are really into the ren faire or magic the gathering.

Last night at Quarks, the star trek theme bar:

Bartender: Is that watch in binary code? That's really dorky.
Erin: Seriously? Because you're a bartender at a star trek bar.

Guinea Pig Names, the short list:

Jim Dandy
The Professor
CK Dexter Haven
Nectarine
Commodore
John MacEnroe
Banjo
The Falconer
Flip Spiceland
Starcrunch
Senator
Batman
Sandy Duncan
Mexicali Grill

If you guys have any other suggestions, let me know.

FALL FALL FALL HEY GUYS ITS FALL ok not officially but it is September which- in my head anyways- is the beginning of fall. Even though it's still 100 degrees outside, it's freakin' fall, which is by far my favorite season. And to usher it in, I have thrown together a FALL MIX CD, which I will post here as a giant zip file ready for you to download.

FALL MIX O'SIX

Tracklist, though again I don't know what order it will upload in:

1. Starlite Mints- Pumpkin
2. The Flaming Lips- My Cosmic Autumn Rebellion
3. Snoozer- Labor Day. I have no idea who this band is- I downloaded this song from a site that sells clothing.
4. Tom Vek- Summer Fall
5. David Bowie- Chilly Down. It's the song from Labyrinth that everyone forgets about, but is so much fun.
6. Britta Phillips and Dean Wareham- Indian Summer. Not the best song from the album, but the only one remotely related to fall.
7. The Decemberits- The Sporting Life. The Decemberists just seem like a fall kind of band to me.
8. Hank Williams, Jr.- Are You Ready For Some Football (ABC's Monday Night Football Theme). Well, are you?
9. The White Stripes- Dead Leaves and the Dirty Ground. I know you all have this song already. This is the super duper fall version. It's exactly the same.
10. Unwound- October All Over
11. Beck- Atmospheric Conditions
12. R.E.M.- Carnival of Sorts (Box Cars). Another fall band.
13. Of Montreal- October is Eternal
14. The Fat Boys- Are You Ready For Freddy? If you're not ready for football, at least be ready for Freddy. Find out how at www.ready.gov- oh, and Freddy raps in this song.
15. The Beetlejuice Soundtrack- Jump In The Line.
16. Wyclef Jean- Gone Til November. Aah, pre-Shakira Wyclef.
17. Telex- Sigmund Freud's Party. I have no idea why I threw this one in. There is tap-dancing in it.
18. Guns N' Roses- November Rain. All nine minutes.
19. Morrissey- November Spawned a Monster
20. Klaus Nomi- After the Fall. Which I don't think is actually about fall.


whats up, fall