n'est pas

This is how it is percieved but of course it is foggy outside and my synapses could very well be lost on the access roads.
Dictation re: my internal dialogue to "cease at once" the search for constant justification of every action down to cellular division and just stop giving two shits about this dizzy downward spiral called entropy. Sources inform me that it's stupid and socially unacceptable to care about the wellbeing of someone generally dismissed as superficial, sources have been reading entirely too many manuals. Our collected seven am "this is becoming absurd" crossroom glances directly correlate with the thin cloud of sadness becoming entirely too tangible. I hope the sky falls soon so we can have this whole thing over with at the same time. If everyone dies together it will give us more to talk about in the afterlife.
Sometimes dealing with addicts has harsher side effects than dealing with the drugs themselves. The aesthetics of drugs intersect the aesthetics of sex and become just another distraction, as everything is just another distraction. Sober or otherwise, we are all waiting for our own little godot.
Outdated lighting accentuates resignment, giving up, too tired to fight. But how much can you tell from a look? Without compelling decency without interception I can't fight aggressors, this other presence to my left reluctant to accept no as an answer. You are holding my wrist a bit too long a bit too tight for comfort please I just want away, want another cigarette in relative solitude. We passed surreal too far back to turn around.

I am tired. The sky is hovering, still.