n'est pas

Things I learned today while watching Fox News, the only television that was not set to sports, while on the elliptical trainer at 24 Hour Fitness:
-Chile is in the process of electing their first female president. Meaning yet another country is more progressive than us.
-A space capsule containing stardust just landed in an undisclosed location (I imagine cheney catching it) with the aid of several parachutes. It entered the earth's atmosphere at something like 30,000mph and landed with the aid of several parachutes. Titanium parachutes?
-Some kid was able to solve a Rubix cube in less than 11 seconds with one hand tied behind his back. I, meanwhile, have been working on the same one since 1983.
-A homeless man got beat up somewhere.
-An undeniably fox news "weird republican slant" on whats going down in supreme court land.
-I burned 300 calories in one half hour. I need to move into the elliptical trainer.