n'est pas

I was just given copies of the illustrious publications YM, Twist and J-14.
Girls youth market prepaid ads...and since I am the only female writer in the department, I get the job by default. Because I am nothing if not in-touch with the youth of today.

According to the covers I am about to learn the following things:
Summer Date Do's and Don'ts (dating? what's that?)
How to look sexier in jeans. (um, this is aimed at girls HOW OLD?)
Primping my ride...(by the time I had a car I was subscribing to The New Yorker, not YM)
That Avril "is no fake." (at sucking)
That the youth of today refer to Orlando Bloom as "Orly." (as I shall from now on in any future encounters.)

Ok I'm off to see The Stepford Wives. And I'm off!