n'est pas

Lately I love it when systems go this way or that at will, myself allowing such meander giving up all but auxillary control. Sometimes I think everything is just spinning out of control and I'm watching it from the best seat on the ledge. I used to think more often than not that navigation gone off course was navigation self-healing, now I think shit that map is gone and you didn't even notice.
Yeah, sometimes I love it.
Sometimes I'm overwhelmed by every worst possible scenario, that there is no way out and there is no real change and every option seems like the wrong option because every goddamn door has a tiger behind it. Whatever's happens is gonna be big for someone, and I'm right in the aftershock and I see me in certain aftershocks. I just want to know, for the time being, that everything is ok. I'm just taking count of the lucid and the barely so, I'm just taking a pulse and it hurts like hell.
This morning I put on a sundress and heels because everything else was off.

I had fun last night in Athens, even though the previous might indicate otherwise. Sometimes taking general state of the wellbeing is kind of rough.
I wish I were more energetic so as to take full advantage of the dance floor. I was giving it the ol' half ass, at best.
Good lord, I promise the next post will be decidedly less cloudy.

I think I am going to get some ice cream now.