n'est pas

Once upon a time, roughly not too long ago and not too short either, I stumbled on the realization (and off of the time I stood upon) that maybe I could feel something for someone else. Something other than that undefinable numbness I'd been previously wading through for mister before, which some called stupid and everyone said call off. Something very very new, and new is something I don't see much of anymore.
No sooner do I realize this than reality slaps me in the face, or maybe just on the wrist since wrongdoings had no time to rear its head. So much for new.
Damn, I am so tired of being lonely, lonely in crowded rooms, crowded dance halls, crowded corners. It is unfortunate I find most people so dull or content.
Meanwhile I'll stay put upon that time, jumping on it both feet now. Waiting, god I'm always waiting.