n'est pas

My eye hurts. It has a lot of mucus in it. I have no idea why. I also do not know why the ants in my bathroom do not go away no matter how much I dampen the room with "RAID!", or why they are:
1. In the bathroom and not the kitchen where the food would (most likely) be.
2. Not anywhere near the dried listerine, or dried toothpaste, instead choosing to congregate in the shower or march up and down the corners without a bit of purpose.
At first I thought maybe: ok, they just want to be clean. But then several weeks passed and I began to think that maybe they had other things on their mind. Well, they would maybe if they weren't ants and therefore incapable of higher levels of thinking.
So what I have concluded is that I have the world's dumbest, most lost ants living in my bathroom. Resilient fuckers, though. Flying right in the face of Darwinism...I guess the only way to get rid of them is to wait for evolution to turn it's blind eye towards my bathroom and send an extremely short bus to come gather my five hundred idiot ants.

I do not think these ants have anything to do with the mucus in my eye.


Oh, and in other news Kevin Quinn is now getting more publicity than me. Which means I might need a new publicist. Which means I need to hire a publicist, fire him or her, and hire a new and better publicist- all of which will take place without any money changing hands whatsoever because I am fucking broke.

Click here to read the article which I have not read yet and seriously you guys I need a write up or something...