n'est pas

I started writing this last night but was too tired to finish- the first paragraph takes place between the hours of late and later, Jack Bauer is nowhere to be found (shocking, I know):
Well nobody tells me the world is freezing all around me and to buy bread and bananas and all that other good stuff cause here it is at such an ungodly hour and I am so hungry and everything's just impossibly frozen. My car is chrystalline! It's beautiful cause inside feels like an igloo or maybe just the inside looking out of a photoshop filter.

I am full and warm now and want more than anything to go into food coma mode but I am gonna force myself to wedge the saab out of it's tiny tundra and go to publix and buy foodstuffs for to have at home. Usually I don't bother because my meals are for the most part consumed at work or on the outabouttowns but the weather is simply too ridiculous, too ridiculous to not own my very own jar of non-expired peanut butter, to have xanax bars but not one bar of the snacking or energy variety...what do I eat anyways? My meals largely consist of the same five take-out boxes, things that won't make me nauseated or something overpriced from eatzis. Yes, I will re-acquaint myself with the supermarket aisles. I will buy something beige. I will be the girl in the turquoise dress buying something beige.

Kevin is my new food hero, because when it was so late and my car was so so frozen at it's most frozen he volunteered to risk life and limb and truck bumper to fetch breakfast items from the majestic so I would not go to sleep hungry- alas the world outside the parking deck had other ideas. Though I did not witness such bravery first-hand, I heard that upon seeing the road, the brakes and steering immediately threw in the towel and decided to just plain not work. On a decline no less, and you know what that means- imminent danger. Sliding and crashing and explosions and random airstrikes by power-mad dinosaur armies who somehow got ahold of the opposable thumbs needed to fly warplanes. And also got a hold of warplanes.
It was then decided that pancakes were not worth the risk, especially pancakes which may or may not contain random pieces of blue sponge.

Earlier I managed to disengage enough ice from it's car stronghold to open the trunk (saabs are all trunk, like J-lo i tellya) and get the actual ice-scraping tool contained within. It was quite the o.henry moment I thought to myself while jabbing at the ice, ice flying everywhichway. Ice jabbing, motherfucking ice jabbing. A more cathartic wintertime activity there never was, though I cannot imagine having to go through that shit every morning. (note to self buy that ice-away stuff and coat car in thin layer of suspect chemicals) Oh and pizza was consumed did I mention that we finally got food? It was from the altered state of drugachusetts mellow mushroom.

Come to think of it I do not recall ever having had a "food hero" before only cigarette heroes and now I have that bowie song "Heroes" in my head, except it's the version sung by ewan and nicole in moulin rouge..."and I'll drink a lot!" (did I ever mention that when bowie did that song in the encore he opened it with those lyrics? It was, in retrospect, just on this side of surreal.)
Ok that is all for right now because I have to continue with wintry mix '05 activities, things are just so much more exciting when they are frozen don't you think?

THIS IS MY NEW FAVORITE PICTURE OF THE DAY:



from K-Rock news:
...Actor Will Farrell opened the show by telling the capacity crowd all the music would be live and there would be "No Ashlee Simpson Bullsh*t." He then went on to perform a lip-synched version of Coldplay's "Clocks." Seated at a piano, Farrell jokingly pulled his cell phone out of his pocket, took bites of a sandwich, read the newspaper and even took a nap during his "performance," afterwards he begrudgingly admitted to lip-synching.

Beck hit the stage next and performed a few songs, including "Everybody's Gotta Learn Sometimes," from the Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind soundtrack and "Lost Cause"- during which Will Ferrell came out dressed in a red body suit and did an interpretive dance to the tune, which culminated in him humping Beck's pump organ. Beck stopped a few times to politely tell him to stop.